Name:
|
Benny
Biggggggs (How many g's? Who knows!?)
|
Birth date:
|
It depends which
forged birth certificate you go by. In Arkansas, he is a 19 year-old
woman named Candy Nipples.
|
Birthplace:
|
South
Philadelphia born and raised. On his Big Wheel is where he spent most
of his days.
|
Marital Status:
|
Is polygamy
legal
in Pennsylvania yet?
|
Pets:
|
Sparky the Rat.
Being one to never lose a card game, Benny Bigs will send Sparky over
to the other side of the room to do some covert card reading when the
cards are running against him. We're not sure which sewer Sparky
crawled out of, but somehow he learned sign language down there. If you
want to see something funny, watch a rat sign "royal flush."
|
Best
known for:
|
Benny
Bigs always seems to be at the right place at the right time, but
rarely sees anything. Most recently, the Biker Gang had broken up a
local prostitution ring and were holding the head madam until the local
authorities arrived. Benny Bigs was assigned to watch the door of a
room with no windows and only one door. When the sheriff arrived an
hour later, Benny Bigs was still watching the door, but no one was
inside. When asked, Benny replied, "Huh? What? I didn't see anything.
Are you sure she was in there?" There were some rumors that Benny had
been receiving a payoff from the prostitution ring for years, but no
evidence linking the two have been found to this day.
|
Weakness:
|
Loose
women and cheap booze.
|
My
Space:
|
www.myspace.com/bennybigggs
|
